Lie in the Sound

Is it possible to love more than one person wholeheartedly? What does that say about yourself? Much too trustworthy? Too this, too that. Is it even possible to love someone with your whole heart. Seems like an immense amount of love to me. It's hard to say whether or not I understand the differences between lust, need, and want. They all correlate with one another, in some strange way. Feeling love for someone can always be mistaken for being lustful for a person. You'd think people would understand the difference. Want, and need come into play far too much as well, for me at least.
Sure, I've been in love once, and it felt nice, but it created a needy kind of me that constantly needed reassurance, and that feeling of needing to be loved back just as much starts to consume you. You fight so hard to keep the idea of being in love in your head, it eventually tears down your mind, and what seemed to be so clear on what you thought was love, becomes just a slight bit hazy.

I am falling, say my name
And I'll lie in the sound
What is love, but whatever
My heart needs around.

Something real.

I can feel the lump in my throat getting bigger, heavier, it's so uncomfortable.You just don't know.
You don't know what makes me smile still.
It felt so goddamn good being able to lie next to you, holding your hand, watching the stars, and having the thought running in my head that i loved you right then and there. The night of our first kiss.
The first time i said i love you, and you said it back. The first song you wrote for me.
Missing feels worse, when no one misses you back.
It's all so far away, insignificant.

Held on as tightly as you held onto me.

A sensitive time.

It can be difficult, or time consuming, or nerve-racking having to start over again. We revert back to the same old person, because, we know them well, we know their flaws, we know what makes them happy or sad, and what their favorite shirt is, or what song makes them feel safe. They know know us too, our insecurities, the line of freckles on our thigh no one knows about, the way we laugh high pitched when we're uncomfortable, or the way we love when they tuck our hair behind our ears. It's easier to go back to what we know, or who we loved, it feels safe, even though it's really the opposite. We try to hide the fact that we know we'll end up hurting in the long run. Sometimes, we don't care, we would rather try to be with someone we know we shouldn't, and get hurt, rather than being alone, or starting over. All I know is that I'm in no rush to be someone's sweetheart.