White pot with daisies.

I sat there in the passenger seat of you car, up on Aspen Hills, the only place that is ours. You know my nervous habits, I hate that. I couldn't stop fiddling with my fingers until you got annoyed and held my hands together. You told me to stop being so nervous. I really couldn't help it. I was trying to be strong for the both of us, I think you secretly were too. It felt good to catch up, make small talk while your favorite Beatles songs played in the backround. You had a moment of weakness when the quick breeze blew my perfume towards you, I heard it in your voice after you made a small comment about it, it filled up your head with something you clearly did not want. As for now, I'm just here, and so are you, and maybe in the future it will be we.

It happens because it's suppose to.

Suddenly, a cloud must have cut a hole in my head,
When i was tangled all in your words.
How quick to forget,
We are,
With eyes unimpressed
You're sealing the conversations.
And are you wondering how things could be?
Just staring at the surface,
When all the walls have tendencies.
But it's not your fault when no one taught you how.
And now the one you once loved is leaving.
You're so sure that I'd be just fine here.
But you were surely just taking your own time dear.

It will happen for me.

Fine. Just fine. I'm exhausted with being only fine. I can't wait until the day where somebody asks me how I'm doing and i reply with, "I'm wonderful, things are going great for me." I'm drained, incredibly frail. I cannot stand when you ruin my high points. I was ten feet away from getting in a car crash, thank goodness i didn't. Only, after, i thought what if i did? That is a cowardly thought but, it ran through my head. I sometimes wonder if you would miss me if i wasn't around. All i really want is some comfort. Someone there. Someone brave and comforting, someone...there. I'm scatterbrained. This is far too much for my maturity level. 

Hello?

Life is like a big game of "Telephone." Somebody relays a piece of juicy information which they heard from a friend, who heard from a friend who gossiped about someone they probably don't talk to on a regular basis. I heard about someone's personal situation the other day, i was the sixth person to have the messaged passed to. People like to know about other people's business. I in fact am guilty of this but to a certain extent. So is everybody else in the world. Nobody is perfect, no matter how much you think your fake exterior is working. Why are people so obsessed with other people's lives? It's because people are bored with their own lives, jealous of another person, hurt by another person. Talking about someone makes them feel more important, people talk bad about someone just to get a good laugh out from their friends, or talking about someone cause they took away something you truly cared about. No matter what your reasoning is, if you hear something insignificant about someone, what is the point of telling another body. You aren't getting anything out of it but, creating a person you know isn't you. I am going to try and keep things i hear to myself, i wouldn't want to be the person whose personal situations are getting passed around through a giant telephone.

A different smile.

You're shy and sweet and you make me nervous. You're not flashy. You don't crave the attention to be on you at all times. You're quiet and held back, it's exactly what i need.

Brittle little bones.

I can't stand you. I can't stand you. I can't stand you. I can't stand hearing your name. I just can't stand you. I can't stand how you lie. I can't stand you. I can't stand you. I can't stand your inconsistancy. I simply can't stand you.

I'm spiraling. I'm dizzy. I can't find any balance in my feet.